The Killing Stranglebutt

In connection with the Cow abduction last week, the School’s farm was visited by both the Health Department and the Animal Control. The visit was originally a normal supervision of the condition on the farm, mostly due to the concerns of the Animal rights group. However the normal check up turned out to be quite of the extraordinary.

This is what happened: Dr. Ray Bies had been cleaning the stranglebuts’ cage as the Health Inspector; Sarah Dalin had arrived an hour earlier than expected. She had wandered around the farm with her notebook and Camera as she accidentally had sat her beautiful high heal shoe in a huge pile of muck, whereupon she had slid with great speed towards the Stranglebuts' cage. The kind Stranglebut had mistaken her for being severely injured, and had hurried his hairy butt towards her head. When Dr. Ray Bies finally had recognized the critical situation, it had been too late. He had tried to pull her head out of the stranglebut’s butt, but he hadn’t been strong enough. All the same, while Dr. Bies had been struggling with Sarah’s trapped head, the Scary stranglebut had managed to jump out of his cage just as the rest of the visitors had arrived.

The Scary Stranglebut managed to suffocate two cows, one Lockingfart, one member of the animal control and three new born kitties before the rest of the visitors succeeded trapping him, and putting him back in his cage.

Sarah Dalin is at the moment in the hospital, still facing the kind Stranglebut’s butt. The Doctors were able to penetrate the butt with a small hose towards her mount keeping her from suffocation. As for the Stranglebut, the Doctors say they might be able to save his life as well, but they underline that he might not be the same Stranglebut after this incident. When the kind Stranglebut had realized what he had cause, he had fallen in a deep state of shock and agony, and the Doctors have not been able to stop his crying since his arrival.
Dr. Ray Bies sends his condolence to both all the animals at the farm and the Animal controllers that have lost one dear member. He has invited all the people of Wikiwood to a memorial this afternoon.

We have not been able to get in touch with neither the Health Department nor the Animal control, but we will see to this interview next week.

By Margareth Sampson

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