The Tragic Farm Incident

by Margareth Sampson

Every citizen of Wikiwood has been embossed by the tragic farm- incident a couple of weeks ago. We have been receiving concerns, complaints, bomb threats, supporting thoughts and tear dropping stories from our readers of Wikiwood weekly.

The situation is still unsteady at the farm. Cows are shaking, hens are having egg-laying-fobia, Lockingfarts are snapping uncontrollably at casually passers-by, the angry stranglebutt is rubbing his hairy butt all sore against his cage, while Dr. Ray Bies still is attending his vacation in Finland watching reindeers, trying to recover after his huge loss at the farm. The farm is visited by a pet-psychiatrist every day, who sings animal songs and make all kinds of animal sounds to help calming the atmosphere among the animals.

The Doctors were finally able to separate Sara Dalin’s head from the kind Stranglebutt’s butt, but she is still at the hospital attending daily therapy, taking pain killers and drinking lots of red bull to recover. Mrs. Dalin has temperately lost her good looks. Her head is bald, her nose is flat, and her skin has still got a brown tincture after facing a butt for nearly a whole week. We were able to reach her on the phone yesterday (as she still refuses to meet anyone face to face). She spoke pleasantly and happy on the phone, telling us how wonderful life was, and how she was looking forward to Christmas.

The Stranglebutt’s situation is far worse. People have been seeing him wandering drunk around the Wikiwood ghetto, asking strangers for money- his fur all fuzzy, his glasses broken, his eyes red-glowing and full of tears. The doctors said he refused to get into therapy before Dr Bies returned, and that he three days ago jumped out of the window in fifth flour. “He is from now on out of the hospital’s responsibility”, says the chief physician at Wikiwood hospital.

We meet Sara McIntyre outside Secondary school this afternoon and asked her about the whole situation. She looked indifferently saying she never had herd of any farm incident, and told us she had to run because her youngest son Cloyt had swallowed a perforator and was about to choke.

On the behalf of Wikiwood Weekly, I wish all of the involved a Merry Christmas and a happier than this year next year.

Margareth Sampson

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